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仅做 整合 / 美化 处理
I grew up white. secular and middle class
[AI] 我是白人。世俗和中产阶级
in 1950s America.
[AI] 20世纪50年代的美国。
That meant watching fireworks on the Fourth of July.
[AI] 这意味着在7月4日观看焰火表演。
trick-or-treating on Halloween
[AI] 万圣节不给糖就捣蛋
and putting presents under a tree at Christmas.
[AI] 圣诞节时把礼物放在树下。
But by the time those traditions got to me.
[AI] 但是当这些传统影响到我的时候。
they were hollow. commercial enterprises.
[AI] 它们是空心的。商业企业。
which just left me feeling empty.
[AI] 这让我感到空虚。
So from a relatively young age.
[AI] 所以从一个相对年轻的年龄。
I found myself looking to fill an existential hole.
[AI] 我发现自己在寻找填补一个存在的漏洞。
to connect with something bigger than myself.
[AI] 和比我更重要的人联系。
There hadn't been a bar mitzvah in my family in over a century.
[AI] 我们家已经一个多世纪没有成人礼了。
so I thought I'd take a shot at that --
[AI] 所以我想我应该试一试--
(Laughter)
[AI] （众笑）
only to be devastated when my one encounter with the rabbi.
[AI] 只有在我和拉比的一次邂逅中被摧毁。
a really tall. godlike figure with flowing white hair.
[AI] a真的很高。神性的身材，飘逸的白发。
consisted of him asking me for my middle name
[AI] 包括他问我的中间名
so we could fill out a form.
[AI] 所以我们可以填一张表格。
Yep. that was it.
[AI] 是的。就这样。
(Laughter)
[AI] （众笑）
So I got the fountain pen.
[AI] 所以我拿到了自来水笔。
but I didn't get the sense of belonging and confidence
[AI] 但我没有得到归属感和信心
I was searching for.
[AI] 我在找。
Many years later.
[AI] 许多年后。
I couldn't bear the thought of my son turning 13
[AI] 我无法忍受儿子13岁的想法
without some kind of rite of passage.
[AI] 没有某种成年礼。
So I came up with the idea of a 13th birthday trip.
[AI] 所以我想出了一个13岁生日旅行的主意。
and I offered to take Murphy anywhere in the world
[AI] 我愿意带墨菲去世界上任何地方
that had meaning for him.
[AI] 这对他有意义。
A budding young naturalist who loved turtles.
[AI] 喜欢海龟的初露头角的年轻博物学家。
he immediately settled on the Galapagos.
[AI] 他立即在加拉帕戈斯群岛定居下来。
And when my daughter. Katie. turned 13.
[AI] 当我的女儿。凯蒂。13岁了。
she and I spent two weeks at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
[AI] 我和她在大峡谷的底部呆了两个星期。
where Katie learned for the first time that she was powerful and brave.
[AI] 在那里，凯蒂第一次认识到她是强大和勇敢的。
Since then. my partner. Ashton. and lots of our friends and relatives
[AI] 从那时起我的搭档。阿什顿。还有很多我们的朋友和亲戚
have taken their kids on 13th birthday trips.
[AI] 带着孩子去参加13岁生日的旅行。
with everyone finding it transformative for both the child and the parent.
[AI] 每个人都发现这对孩子和父母都有改变。
I wasn't brought up saying grace.
[AI] 我从小就不是说格雷斯的。
But for the last 20 years.
[AI] 但是在过去的20年里。
we've been holding hands before every meal.
[AI] 我们每顿饭前都手牵手。
It's a beautiful bit of shared silence
[AI] 这是一段美好的沉默
that brings us all together in the moment.
[AI] 这让我们在这一刻走到了一起。
Ashton tells everyone to "pass the squeeze."
[AI] 阿什顿告诉每个人“不要挤。”
while she assures them it's not religious.
[AI] 虽然她向他们保证这不是宗教。
(Laughter)
[AI] （众笑）
So recently. when my family asked me
[AI] 所以最近。当我的家人问我
if I could please do something with the more than 250 boxes of stuff
[AI] 如果我能用超过250箱的东西做点什么的话
that I've collected over a lifetime.
[AI] 这是我一生收集的。
my ritual-making impulse kicked in.
[AI] 我的仪式制造冲动开始了。
I started wondering if I could go further than simple death cleaning.
[AI] 我开始怀疑我是否能比简单的死亡清理更进一步。
"Death cleaning" is the Swedish term for clearing out your closets.
[AI] “死亡清理”是瑞典语中用来清理你衣橱的术语。
your basement and your attic before you die.
[AI] 在你死之前，你的地下室和阁楼。
so your kids don't have to do it later.
[AI] 这样你的孩子以后就不用再做了。
(Laughter)
[AI] （众笑）
I pictured my children opening up box after box
[AI] 我想象着我的孩子们打开一个又一个盒子
and wondering why I'd kept any of that stuff.
[AI] 想知道我为什么要保留这些东西。
(Laughter)
[AI] （众笑）
And then I imagined them looking at a specific picture
[AI] 然后我想象他们在看一张特定的照片
of me with a beautiful young woman.
[AI] 我和一个漂亮的年轻女人在一起。
and asking. "Who on earth is that with Dad?"
[AI] 问。“跟爸爸在一起的到底是谁？”
(Laughter)
[AI] （众笑）
And that was the aha moment.
[AI] 这就是啊哈的时刻。
It wasn't the things I'd saved that were important;
[AI] 重要的不是我保存的东西；
it was the stories that went with them that gave them meaning.
[AI] 正是伴随着他们的故事赋予了他们意义。
Could using the objects to tell the stories
[AI] 你能用这些东西讲故事吗
be the seed of a new ritual.
[AI] 成为新仪式的种子。
a rite of passage -- not for a 13-year-old.
[AI] 一个成人仪式——不适合13岁的孩子。
but for someone much further down the road?
[AI] 但是对于一个更遥远的人来说？
So I started experimenting.
[AI] 所以我开始做实验。
I got a few dozen things out of the boxes.
[AI] 我从箱子里拿了几十件东西。
I put them about in a room.
[AI] 我把它们放在一个房间里。
and I invited people to come in
[AI] 我邀请人们进来
and ask me about anything that they found interesting.
[AI] 问我他们觉得有趣的事。
The results were terrific.
[AI] 结果非常好。
A good story became a launching pad for a much deeper discussion.
[AI] 一个好故事成为一个更深入讨论的出发点。
in which my visitors made meaningful connections
[AI] 我的访客在其中建立了有意义的联系
to their own lives.
[AI] 为了他们自己的生活。
Derrius [Quarles] asked me about a Leonard Peltier T-shirt
[AI] 德里奥斯[夸尔斯]问我一件莱纳德·佩尔蒂埃的T恤
that I'd worn a lot in the '80s.
[AI] 我在80年代穿了很多。
that. sadly. is still relevant today.
[AI] 那个悲哀地今天仍然相关。
Our conversation moved quickly.
[AI] 我们的谈话进行得很快。
from a large number of political prisoners in American jails.
[AI] 从美国监狱里的大量政治犯那里。
to Derrius wondering about the legacy
[AI] 去德里奥斯想知道遗产
of the Black Liberation Movement of the '60s.
[AI] 60年代的黑人解放运动。
and how his life might be different if he'd come of age then.
[AI] 如果他长大了，他的生活会有什么不同。
instead of 30-odd years later.
[AI] 而不是30多年后。
At the end of our conversation.
[AI] 在我们谈话的最后。
Derrius asked me if he could have the T-shirt.
[AI] 德里奥斯问我他能不能要这件T恤。
And giving it to him felt just about perfect.
[AI] 给他感觉非常完美。
As these conversations established common ground.
[AI] 因为这些对话建立了共同点。
especially across generations.
[AI] 特别是跨越几代人。
I realized I was opening a space
[AI] 我意识到我在打开一个空间
for people to talk about things that really mattered to them.
[AI] 让人们谈论对他们来说真正重要的事情。
And I started seeing myself with a renewed sense of purpose --
[AI] 我开始以一种新的使命感看待自己--
not as the old guy on the way out.
[AI] 不像那个出去的老家伙。
but as someone with a role to play
[AI] 但是作为一个可以扮演角色的人
going forward.
[AI] 向前
When I was growing up.
[AI] 当我长大的时候。
life ended for most people in their 70s.
[AI] 大多数人的生命在70多岁时结束了。
People are living far longer now.
[AI] 人们现在活得更长了。
and for the first time in human history.
[AI] 这是人类历史上第一次。
it's common for four generations to be living side by side.
[AI] 四代人并肩生活是很常见的。
I'm 71.
[AI] 我71岁了。
and with a bit of luck.
[AI] 还有一点运气。
I've got 20 or 30 more years ahead of me.
[AI] 我还有二三十年的时间。
Giving away my stuff now
[AI] 现在就把我的东西送人
and sharing it with friends. family. and I hope strangers. too.
[AI] 并与朋友分享。家庭我希望是陌生人。也
seems like the perfect way to enter this next stage of my life.
[AI] 似乎是进入我人生下一阶段的完美方式。
Turns out to be just what I was looking for:
[AI] 结果证明这正是我想要的：
a ritual that's less about dying
[AI] 与死亡无关的仪式
and more about opening the door
[AI] 还有更多关于开门的事
to whatever comes next.
[AI] 无论接下来发生什么。
Thank you.
[AI] 非常感谢。
(Applause)
[AI] （掌声）
Onward!
[AI] 向前的！
(Applause)
[AI] （掌声）