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【TED】多元化的自己究竟有多大力量?

 

We're holding hands, 我们手牵着手, staring at the door. 盯着门口。 My siblings and I were waiting for my mother to come back 我和兄弟姐妹们在等着妈妈 from the hospital. 从医院回来。 She was there because my grandmother had cancer surgery that day. 因为那天是我的外婆 做癌症手术的日子。 Finally, the doors opened, 终于,门开了, and she said, 她说, "She's gone. “外婆走了。 She's gone." 她走了。” She started sobbing and immediately said, 她开始哭泣,然后很快说到, "We must make arrangements. “我们要做好安排。 Your grandmother's dying wish was to be buried back home in Korea." 你们外婆的遗愿 是要葬回韩国老家。” I was barely 12 years old, and when the shock wore off, 我当时也就12岁吧, 当震惊慢慢退去, my mother's words were ringing in my ears. 妈妈的话仍在耳中回响。 My grandmother wanted to be buried back home. 我的外婆想落叶归根。 We had moved from Korea to Argentina six years prior, 外婆去世的6年前, 我们从韩国搬到阿根廷, without knowing any Spanish, or how we were going to make a living. 完全不懂西班牙语, 也不知道要如何生存。 And upon arrival, we were immigrants who had lost everything, 抵达的时候, 我们是身无分文的移民, so we had to work really hard to rebuild our lives. 因此必须要非常努力地 工作来开始新生活。 So it hadn't occurred to me that after all these years, 这么多年过去了,我从未想过, back home was still in Korea. 韩国才是我的家乡。 It made me ponder where I would want to be buried someday, 我开始琢磨,将来我想被葬在哪里, where home was for me, 哪里是我的老家, and the answer was not obvious. 但我却找不到答案。 And this really bothered me. 这件事令我很困扰。 So this episode launched a lifelong quest for my identity. 这件事开启了我一生中 寻找自己的身份的旅程。 I was born in Korea -- the land of kimchi; 我在泡菜之国——韩国出生; raised in Argentina, 在阿根廷长大, where I ate so much steak that I'm probably 80 percent cow by now; 可能因为吃太多牛排, 我觉得现在我80%的成分是牛; and I was educated in the US, 然后我在美国接受教育, where I became addicted to peanut butter. 在这儿又对花生酱爱得无法自拔。 (Laughter) (笑声) During my childhood, I felt very much Argentinian, 小时候,我觉得自己 是个地道的阿根廷人, but my looks betrayed me at times. 但我的外表时不时会背叛我。 I remember on the first day of middle school, 我还记得上中学的第一天, my Spanish literature teacher came into the room. 我的西班牙文学老师走进教室。 She scanned all of my classmates, 她扫了一眼全班同学, and she said, 说到, "You -- you have to get a tutor, “你,你要请一个家教, otherwise, you won't pass this class." 否则,你肯定过不了这门课。” But by then I was fluent in Spanish already, 但当时我的西班牙语 已经非常流利了, so it felt as though I could be either Korean or Argentinian, 当时给我的感觉就是, 我要么是韩国人,要么是阿根廷人, but not both. 但不可能两者都是。 It felt like a zero-sum game, 这种感觉就像是非此即彼的博弈, where I had to give up my old identity 我必须放弃自己的旧身份, to be able to gain or earn a new one. 才能获得新身份。 So when I was 18, I decided to go to Korea, 18岁那年,我决定去韩国, hoping that finally I could find a place to call home. 希望找到一个能称之为家的地方。 But there people asked me, 但有人问我, "Why do you speak Korean with a Spanish accent?" “为什么你说韩语有西班牙口音?” (Laughter) (笑声) And, "You must be Japanese because of your big eyes “你肯定是日本人,因为你眼睛很大, and your foreign body language." 肢体动作也像外国人。” And so it turns out that I was too Korean to be Argentinian, 原来,作为阿根廷人, 我太韩国范儿, but too Argentinian to be Korean. 作为韩国人,我又太阿根廷范儿。 And this was a pivotal realization to me. 对我来说这是一个非常关键的认识。 I had failed to find that place in the world to call home. 我找不到一个可以称作老家的地方。 But how many Japanese-looking Koreans who speak with a Spanish accent -- 但是看起来像日本人的韩国人, 讲话又带着西班牙口音, or even more specific, Argentinian accent -- 或者更确切地说,带着阿根廷口音, do you think are out there? 这样的人你们觉得有多少呢? Perhaps this could be an advantage. 也许这是一个优势。 It was easy for me to stand out, 我更容易在人群中凸显出来, which couldn't hurt in a world that was rapidly changing, 在这个变化迅速的世界, where skills could become obsolete overnight. 你的技能也许一夜之间就被淘汰了。 So I stopped looking for that 100 percent commonality 因此我不再在遇到的人身上, with the people that I met. 寻找100%的共性。 Instead, I realized that oftentimes, I was the only overlap 取而代之的是,我常常意识到, 自己正好处于交叉地带, between groups of people that were usually in conflict with each other. 位于常常有冲突发生的人群中间。 So with this realization in mind, 带着这种认识, I decided to embrace all of the different versions of myself -- 我决定接受一个截然不同的自己, even allow myself to reinvent myself at times. 甚至允许自己以全新的面貌出现。 So for example, in high school, 比如,在高中的时候, I have to confess I was a mega-nerd. 我不得不承认我是个书呆子。 I had no sense of fashion -- thick glasses, simple hairstyle -- 对于时尚一窍不通—— 戴着厚眼镜,留着简单的发型, you can get the idea. 相信你们能想象出来。 I think, actually, I only had friends because I shared my homework. 我觉得,那时候我之所以有朋友, 是因为我借作业给他们抄。 That's the truth. 是真的。 But once at university, 但在大学的时候, I was able to find a new identity for myself, 我找到了自己新的身份, and the nerd became a popular girl. 从书呆子变成了受欢迎的女孩。 But it was MIT, 但因为我在麻省理工, so I don't know if I can take too much credit for that. 所以我也不知道 这种改变到底有多大用处。 As they say over there, 他们那儿有句话, "The odds are good, “数量挺多的, but the goods are odd." 质量却不好。” (Laughter) (笑声) I switched majors so many times that my advisors joked 我换了很多次专业, 最后我的顾问开玩笑说, that I should get a degree in "random studies." 我应该去修一个“随机专业”学位。 (Laughter) (笑声) I told this to my kids. 我把这件事告诉了我的孩子们。 And then over the years, I have gained a lot of different identities. 这些年我有了许多不同的身份。 I started as an inventor, entrepreneur, social innovator. 最开始我是作为一名发明者, 企业家,社会革新者。 Then I became an investor, 之后我成为了投资人, a woman in tech, 技术女性, a teacher. 老师。 And most recently, I became a mom, 最近我成为了一名母亲, or as my toddler says repeatedly, 或者像我的小家伙不停叫着的, "Mom!" day and night. “妈~妈~”,从早到晚。 Even my accent was so confused -- 就连我的口音也很奇怪—— its origin was so obscure, 它是如此复杂, that my friends called it, "Rebecanese." 以至于我的朋友管它叫“瑞贝卡语”。 (Laughter) (笑声) But reinventing yourself can be very hard. 但是重塑自己是非常难的。 You can face a lot of resistance at times. 你时常会遇到许多阻碍。 When I was nearly done with my PhD, 在我快拿到博士学位的时候, I got bitten by that entrepreneurial bug. 我开始心心念念想创业。 I was in Silicon Valley, 我当时在硅谷, and so writing a thesis in the basement didn't seem as interesting 在地下室写论文无趣极了, as starting my own company. 跟自己开公司没法比。 So I went to my very traditional Korean parents, 因此我去找我那非常传统的父母, who are here today, 他们今天也在现场, with the task of letting them know 我想告诉他们 that I was going to drop out from my PhD program. 我打算放弃自己的博士学位。 You see, my siblings and I are the first generation to go to university, 事实上,我和我的兄弟姐妹 是第一代上大学的人, so for a family of immigrants, this was kind of a big deal. 而对于一个移民家庭来说,这是件大事。 You can imagine how this conversation was going to go. 不难想象这次对话会变成什么样。 But fortunately, I had a secret weapon with me, 但幸运的是,我有秘密武器, which was a chart that had the average income of all of the graduates 那是一张图表,上面展示的是 斯坦福博士毕业生的 from Stanford PhD programs, 平均收入水平, and then the average income of all the dropouts 还有从斯坦福退学的人的 from Stanford graduate programs. 平均收入水平。 (Laughter) (笑声) I must tell you -- this chart was definitely skewed 我必须得说,这张图表的 数据分布绝对发生了偏移, by the founders of Google. 因为谷歌的创始人们。 (Laughter) (笑声) But my mom looked at the chart, 但是我妈妈看着那张图表, and she said, 对我说, "Oh, for you -- follow your passion." “哦,我支持你!追随你的激情吧。” (Laughter) (笑声) Hi, Mom. 谢了,妈妈。 Now, today my identity quest is no longer to find my tribe. 现在我对自己身份的追寻 不再是为了找到我的部族。 It's more about allowing myself 而是为了允许我 to embrace all of the possible permutations of myself 接受自己所有的可能性, and cultivating diversity within me 形成自身的多元化, and not just around me. 而不仅仅是周边环境的多元化。 My boys now are three years and five months old today, 我的儿子已经3岁5个月了, and they were already born with three nationalities 他们出生就有3个国籍, and four languages. 4种语言。 I should mention now that my husband is actually from Denmark -- 对,现在我应该告诉大家, 我丈夫是丹麦人, just in case I don't have enough culture shocks in my life, 就是为了防止生活给我的 文化冲击还不够猛烈, I decided to marry a Danish guy. 因此我嫁给了一个丹麦人。 In fact, I think my kids will be the first Vikings 我想我的孩子应该是第一批 who will have a hard time growing a beard when they become older. 长不出络腮胡的维京人吧。 (Laughter) (笑声) Yeah, we'll have to work on that. 没错,我们得解决这个问题。 But I really hope that they will find that their multiplicity 但我真的希望,他们的多样性, is going to open and create a lot of doors for them in their lives, 能给他们的生活带来多一点可能, and that they can use this as a way to find commonality 他们可以好好利用这一点 in a world that's increasingly global today. 在今天这个越来越全球化的 世界中找到共性。 I hope that instead of feeling anxious and worried 我希望他们不用感到焦虑和担心, that they don't fit in that one box 自己无法适应陈规, or that their identity will become irrelevant someday, 或者自己的身份某天变得不再重要, that they can feel free to experiment 他们可以自由地去尝试, and to take control of their personal narrative and identity. 掌控自己的个性和身份。 I also hope that they will use their unique combination 我还希望他们充分利用 自己独特的优势, of values and languages and cultures and skills 把不同价值观、语言、 文化和技能结合起来, to help create a world 帮助建立一个世界, where identities are no longer used to alienate what looks different, 让身份不再使得 不同外表的人相互疏远, but rather, to bring together people. 相反的,让他们相互靠近。 And most importantly, I really hope that they find tremendous joy 最重要的是,我真心希望他们 在探索这个未知领域的时候 in going through these uncharted territories, 能够得到巨大的快乐, because I know I have. 因为我知道我是快乐的。 Now, as for my grandmother, 对于我外婆来说, her last wish was also her last lesson to me. 她的遗愿也是她给我上的最后一课。 It turns out that it was never about going back to Korea 其实是否回到韩国, 安葬在那里, and being buried there. 并不重要。 It was about resting next to her son, 重要的是跟她的儿子葬在一起, who had died long before she moved to Argentina. 她的儿子在她来阿根廷之前 就已经去世了。 What mattered to her was not the ocean 对她而言,重要的不是那海洋, that divided her past and new world; 分隔了她的旧生活和新生活, it was about finding common ground. 而是找到那一片共同的土地。 Thank you. 谢谢大家。 (Applause) (掌声)

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