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【TED】与表面光鲜的自己和解

 

So I've been thinking about the difference between 我一直在思考下面两者的区别, the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues. 简历美德和悼词美德。 The résumé virtues are the ones you put on your résumé, 简历美德是指那些你自己会写在简历上的优点, which are the skills you bring to the marketplace. 这是一种在市场中生存的技能。 The eulogy virtues are the ones 悼词美德是指那些会在 that get mentioned in the eulogy, 你的悼词中,别人提到的话。 which are deeper: who are you, in your depth, 哪一个更深刻:从内心深处来讲,哪一个才是你。 what is the nature of your relationships, 在人际关系中,你的本质是什么, are you bold, loving, dependable, consistency? 大胆的?深情的?值得信任的?还是稳重的? And most of us, including me, would say 包括我自己在内的大多说人会说, that the eulogy virtues are the more important of the virtues. 悼词美德会更加重要。 But at least in my case, are they the ones that 但是至少从我的角度来说,他们是 I think about the most? And the answer is no. 我认为的最重要的那个吗?答案是否定的。 So I've been thinking about that problem, 所以我正在思考一个问题, and a thinker who has helped me think about it 并且一个思想家也在帮助我思考, is a guy named Joseph Soloveitchik, who was a rabbi 叫做约瑟夫,过去是一个犹太学者, who wrote a book called "The Lonely Man Of Faith" in 1965. 在1965年著有《有信仰的孤独人》。 Soloveitchik said there are two sides of our natures, 索罗维奇可说到我们的本质可以分为两面, which he called Adam I and Adam II. 他称之为亚当一号以及亚当二号。 Adam I is the worldly, ambitious, 亚当一号是世俗的,雄心勃勃的, external side of our nature. 是我们本质外在的一面。 He wants to build, create, create companies, 这一面想要去建造,去创造,创造公司, create innovation. 创造革新。 Adam II is the humble side of our nature. 亚当二号则是本质中谦逊的那一面。 Adam II wants not only to do good but to be good, 亚当二号要求不仅要做好事,并且要成为好人, to live in a way internally 去以一种内在的方式生活, that honors God, creation and our possibilities. 去尊敬上帝,创作,以及自我的责任。 Adam I wants to conquer the world. 亚当一号想要征服这个世界。 Adam II wants to hear a calling and obey the world. 亚当二号想要倾听这个世界的呼唤并且遵循这个世界。 Adam I savors accomplishment. 亚当一号尽情享受那种成就感。 Adam II savors inner consistency and strength. 亚当二号则享受内在的融合和赐予的力量。 Adam I asks how things work. 亚当一号询问事情怎么运转。 Adam II asks why we're here. 亚当二号则关心我们为什么在这里。 Adam I's motto is "success." 亚当一号的座右铭是“成功”。 Adam II's motto is "love, redemption and return." 亚当二号的座右铭是“爱,拯救和回报”。 And Soloveitchik argued that these two sides 同时,索罗维奇可也思考过我们 of our nature are at war with each other. 这两种感情的相互斗争。 We live in perpetual self-confrontation 我们生活在一个不断进行自我抗争, between the external success and the internal value. 夹杂在外在的成功和内在的价值之中。 And the tricky thing, I'd say, about these 我认为更有趣的是, two sides of our nature is they work 我们的两种本质, by different logics. 依照不同的逻辑运作。 The external logic is an economic logic: 外在逻辑方法是经济学的逻辑方式: input leads to output, risk leads to reward. 投入产出模式和风险回报模式。 The internal side of our nature 我们内在的本质 is a moral logic and often an inverse logic. 是一种道德上的逻辑,通常是一种逆向逻辑。 You have to give to receive. 你不得不用你的付出去获得。 You have to surrender to something outside yourself 你不得不先放弃你自身的外在的一些东西 to gain strength within yourself. 去获得自己内在的力量。 You have to conquer the desire to get what you want. 你需要克服你想要的东西的欲望。 In order to fulfill yourself, you have to forget yourself. 为了使自己满足,你需要先忘记你自己。 In order to find yourself, you have to lose yourself. 为了去找到自我,你需要先失去自我。 We happen to live in a society that favors Adam I, 我们碰巧生活在一个支持亚当一号的社会中, and often neglects Adam II. 并且经常会忽视亚当二号。 And the problem is, that turns you into a shrewd animal 那么问题就是,这会使你成为一个精明的动物, who treats life as a game, 一个把生活当做游戏的人, and you become a cold, calculating creature 并且你会成为一个无情的,爱计较的人, who slips into a sort of mediocrity 最后堕落为庸人这一类, where you realize there's a difference 直到那个时候你才意识到欲望里的自己 between your desired self and your actual self. 和真实的自己是有区别的。 You're not earning the sort of eulogy you want, 你并没有得到你想要的悼词, you hope someone will give to you. 你希望别人可以给你。 You don't have the depth of conviction. 你没有坚定的信仰。 You don't have an emotional sonorousness. 你没有丰富的情绪。 You don't have commitment to tasks 你并没有一个要花费一生的 that would take more than a lifetime to commit. 时间去实现的承诺。 I was reminded of a common response through history 纵观历史我得到了一个相同的回答, of how you build a solid Adam II, 是告诉你怎样去建立一个坚固的亚当二号, how you build a depth of character. 怎样去塑造一个有深度的性格。 Through history, people have gone back 回首过往,人们可以 into their own pasts, 看到自己的过去, sometimes to a precious time in their life, 有时候是生命中很珍贵的某个时刻, to their childhood, 有时候是童年, and often, the mind gravitates in the past 更多的,会吸引你的是 to a moment of shame, 那些让你感到羞耻的瞬间, some sin committed, some act of selfishness, 一些犯错的时候,比如一些自私的举动, an act of omission, of shallowness, 一些欠考虑或者肤浅的行为, the sin of anger, the sin of self-pity, 一些愤怒时犯的过错,一些自怜自哀时的行为, trying to be a people-pleaser, a lack of courage. 总是去迎合别人或者缺乏勇气的时候。 Adam I is built by building on your strengths. 亚当一号是建立在堆砌你的优点上的。 Adam II is built by fighting your weaknesses. 亚当二号是建立在打败你的缺点上的。 You go into yourself, you find the sin 当你走入自己的内心,你会发现那些在你生命中 which you've committed over and again through your life, 犯了一次又一次的错误, your signature sin 你最不能忘记的那个过错 out of which the others emerge, 会区别于其它的那些过错, and you fight that sin and you wrestle with that sin, 你会和那个过错做斗争,去努力克服那个过错, and out of that wrestling, that suffering, 当你从那些斗争和苦难中重生的时候, then a depth of character is constructed. 也就是一个有深度的性格建立的时候。 And we're often not taught to recognize 同时,我没并没有经常被教导 the sin in ourselves, 怎么认识到自己的过错, in that we're not taught in this culture 在现在的文化中我们也没有 how to wrestle with it, 被教导怎么去和它们斗争, how to confront it, and how to combat it. 怎么去面对它们并,如何它们斗争。 We live in a culture with an Adam I mentality 我们生活在一个有着亚当一号心理的社会中, where we're inarticulate about Adam II. 在这里我们很难表达亚当二号的思想。 Finally, Reinhold Niebuhr 最后,莱因霍尔德·尼布尔 summed up the confrontation, the fully lived 用这种方式总结了生活中 Adam I and Adam II life, this way: 亚当一号和亚当二号完全对立的这种存在: "Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime; “没有一件值得一做的事情,可以在你的一生中完成; therefore we must be saved by hope. 因此我们必须用希望来拯救。 Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes 没有一样真实或者美丽的东西, complete sense in any immediate context of history; 可以在历史的一瞬展现它的华彩; therefore we must be saved by faith. 因此我们必须用信仰来救赎。 Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; 没有一件事情,哪怕它是美好的,我们可以独自完成; therefore we must be saved by love. 因此我们必须用爱来拯救。 No virtuous act is quite as virtuous 没有什么善良的行为是完全的善, from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own standpoint. 不论是从朋友,敌人,或者我们自身的角度都是这样。 Therefore we must be saved by that final form of love, 因此我们必须被完全的爱来拯救, which is forgiveness.” 也就是用宽容。“ Thanks. 谢谢大家。 (Applause) (掌声)

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