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仅做 整合 / 美化 处理
My seven-year-old grandson sleeps just down the hall from me,
我七岁大的孙子就睡在我隔壁的房间，
and he wakes up a lot of mornings
他常常在清晨醒来，
and he says,
然后说，
"You know, this could be the best day ever."
“你知道，今天也许会是最棒的一天。”
And other times, in the middle of the night,
也有的时候，在午夜时分，
he calls out in a tremulous voice,
他会怯生生的问我，
"Nana, will you ever get sick and die?"
“奶奶，你也会生病和死亡吗？“
I think this pretty much says it for me and most of the people I know,
我想，我和大多数我认识的人 可能都是这样，
that we're a mixed grill of happy anticipation
我们同时拥有着乐观
and dread.
与恐惧的情绪。
So I sat down a few days before my 61st birthday,
所以在我61岁生日的前几天，我坐下来，
and I decided to compile a list of everything I know for sure.
决定把我确信的一切都列出来。
There's so little truth in the popular culture,
流行文化中的真理太少了，
and it's good to be sure of a few things.
能看清一些事实是有益的。
For instance, I am no longer 47,
比方说，我已经不再是47岁了，
although this is the age I feel,
虽然我依然觉得自己才47岁，
and the age I like to think of myself as being.
我也希望自己一直是47岁。
My friend Paul used to say in his late 70s
我的朋友保罗在他80岁将至时曾说，
that he felt like a young man with something really wrong with him.
他觉得自己是个 身体出了点故障的年轻人。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
Our true person is outside of time and space,
真正的我们不因时间和空间而改变，
but looking at the paperwork,
但是当我看到那些文书，
I can, in fact, see that I was born in 1954.
事实上，我能认识到自己是1954年出生的。
My inside self is outside of time and space.
我的内在不因时间和空间而改变，
It doesn't have an age.
它没有年龄。
I'm every age I've ever been, and so are you,
我存在于我所活过的每一个年龄，你也一样，
although I can't help mentioning as an aside
虽然我不得不提一句
that it might have been helpful if I hadn't followed
如果我当时没有遵循60年代那一套护肤理论
the skin care rules of the '60s,
可能会对我大有好处，
which involved getting as much sun as possible
那会建议你尽可能多晒太阳，
while slathered in baby oil
并涂抹厚厚的婴儿油
and basking in the glow of a tinfoil reflector shield.
然后拿锡箔反光板来吸收更多阳光。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
It was so liberating, though, to face the truth
不过，面对现实也是一种解脱，
that I was no longer in the last throes of middle age,
我再也不用在中年之际作最后的挣扎，
that I decided to write down every single true thing I know.
我也决定写下我所知道的每一件真相。
People feel really doomed and overwhelmed these days,
近来，人们感到非常绝望和茫然，
and they keep asking me what's true.
他们不断问我什么是真的。
So I hope that my list of things I'm almost positive about
所以我希望这些我确信的事情
might offer some basic operating instructions
可以向那些不知所措或陷入困境的人
to anyone who is feeling really overwhelmed or beleaguered.
提供一些基本的指引。
Number one:
第一：
the first and truest thing is that all truth is a paradox.
第一个也是最真实的事情就是， 所有真相都是有对立面的。
Life is both a precious, unfathomably beautiful gift,
生命是精美绝伦的无价之宝，
and it's impossible here, on the incarnational side of things.
同时从另一方面看，它又是完全相反的。
It's been a very bad match
这对我们这些天生敏感的人来说，
for those of us who were born extremely sensitive.
真是不相匹配啊。
It's so hard and weird that we sometimes wonder
人生如此艰辛， 以至于有时候我们怀疑
if we're being punked.
自己是不是被耍了。
It's filled simultaneously with heartbreaking sweetness and beauty,
生命同时充满了令人心碎的甜蜜和美丽，
desperate poverty,
令人绝望的贫困，
floods and babies and acne and Mozart,
以及洪水、婴儿、粉刺和莫扎特，
all swirled together.
全都缠绕在一起。
I don't think it's an ideal system.
我不认为这是一个理想的体系。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
Number two: almost everything will work again
第二：如果你把插头拔掉几分钟，
if you unplug it for a few minutes --
几乎所有事情都能恢复运转——
(Laughter)
（笑声）
(Applause)
（掌声）
including you.
你们也是。
Three: there is almost nothing outside of you
第三：几乎不存在什么外在的力量
that will help in any kind of lasting way,
可以长久的帮助你自己，
unless you're waiting for an organ.
除非你在等器官移植。
You can't buy, achieve or date serenity and peace of mind.
你无法买到或获取心灵的安宁。
This is the most horrible truth, and I so resent it.
这是最可怕的事实，我非常憎恨它。
But it's an inside job,
但这是一项自身的工作，
and we can't arrange peace or lasting improvement
我们无法为世上最爱的人
for the people we love most in the world.
去安排一份宁静或持续的改善。
They have to find their own ways,
他们必须找到自己的路
their own answers.
和自己的答案。
You can't run alongside your grown children
你不能在孩子成为英雄的征程中
with sunscreen and ChapStick on their hero's journey.
替他们挡风遮雨。
You have to release them.
你必须给他们自由。
It's disrespectful not to.
不这么做就是不尊重他们。
And if it's someone else's problem,
更何况当别人遇到问题的时候，
you probably don't have the answer, anyway.
你可能也不知道到底该怎么办。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
Our help is usually not very helpful.
我们的帮助常常没什么用，
Our help is often toxic.
往往还是有害的。
And help is the sunny side of control.
所谓“帮助”就是“控制”的褒义词。
Stop helping so much.
别老是帮忙啦。
Don't get your help and goodness all over everybody.
别再老是施以你的援手和友善。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
(Applause)
（掌声）
This brings us to number four:
这也牵引出第四条：
everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy and scared,
每个人都是糟糕的、破碎的、依赖的、胆小的，
even the people who seem to have it most together.
甚至有的人同时拥有这些负面情绪，
They are much more like you than you would believe,
要相信他们其实和你差不多，
so try not to compare your insides to other people's outsides.
所以不要拿自己的内在与别人的外表比较，
It will only make you worse than you already are.
这只会让你感到雪上加霜。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
Also, you can't save, fix or rescue any of them
同时，你无法拯救他们
or get anyone sober.
或是让他们认清事实。
What helped me get clean and sober 30 years ago
30年前帮助我变得清醒的
was the catastrophe of my behavior and thinking.
是我行为和思想带来的巨大灾难。
So I asked some sober friends for help,
当时我请求一些理智的朋友帮我，
and I turned to a higher power.
我也求助于更强大的力量。
One acronym for God is the "gift of desperation,"
“上帝”一词可以看做是 “绝望中的礼物”的缩写，
G-O-D,
G-O-D, （两者拼写的首字母相同）
or as a sober friend put it,
或者像一个清醒的朋友说的，
by the end I was deteriorating faster than I could lower my standards.
到头来，我堕落的速度 比我降低底线的速度还要快。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
So God might mean, in this case,
所以在这种情况下，“上帝”的意思是，
"me running out of any more good ideas."
“我已经没什么好主意了。”
While fixing and saving and trying to rescue is futile,
当修复、挽救、和拯救都变成徒劳，
radical self-care is quantum,
积极的自我保护就是量子，
and it radiates out from you into the atmosphere
这种力量被你激发后飘散在空气中，
like a little fresh air.
就像新鲜空气一样。
It's a huge gift to the world.
这是给世界的一份大礼。
When people respond by saying, "Well, isn't she full of herself,"
当人们回应说， “好吧，她是不是太自我了？”
just smile obliquely like Mona Lisa
只要像蒙娜丽莎一样微微一笑，
and make both of you a nice cup of tea.
然后给彼此都倒杯好茶就好。
Being full of affection for one's goofy, self-centered,
能包容一个人的憨傻、自我中心、
cranky, annoying self
暴躁、讨厌
is home.
是家。
It's where world peace begins.
家是让世界和平开始的地方。
Number five:
第五：
chocolate with 75 percent cacao is not actually a food.
可可含量75%的巧克力不可以称作是食物。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
Its best use is as a bait in snake traps
它的最佳用途是作为蛇陷阱里的诱饵
or to balance the legs of wobbly chairs.
或者用来垫椅子腿来防止晃动。
It was never meant to be considered an edible.
它从未被认为是可以食用的。
Number six --
第六——
(Laughter)
（笑声）
writing.
写作。
Every writer you know writes really terrible first drafts,
你认识的每一个作家， 初稿写得都很糟糕，
but they keep their butt in the chair.
但他们会坚持钉坐在椅子上。
That's the secret of life.
这就是生活的秘密。
That's probably the main difference between you and them.
这也许就是你们之间的主要区别。
They just do it.
他们想做就去做了。
They do it by prearrangement with themselves.
他们在做之前就预先准备好了。
They do it as a debt of honor.
他们把这当做一种义务。
They tell stories that come through them
他们讲述自己曾经历过的故事，
one day at a time, little by little.
一天一点、一点一点地讲出来。
When my older brother was in fourth grade,
在我哥哥上四年级的时候，
he had a term paper on birds due the next day,
有次有一篇关于鸟类的学期论文， 第二天就要交，
and he hadn't started.
然而他还没有开始写。
So my dad sat down with him with an Audubon book,
于是我爸爸在他身旁坐下来， 拿着一本Audubon的书、
paper, pencils and brads --
一些纸张、铅笔和两脚钉——
for those of you who have gotten a little less young and remember brads --
知道两脚钉的都不再年轻了吧——
and he said to my brother,
然后他对我哥哥说，
"Just take it bird by bird, buddy.
“一只鸟一只鸟的写，孩子。
Just read about pelicans
先读一些关于鹈鹕的东西
and then write about pelicans in your own voice.
然后用你自己的理解 把鹈鹕的知识写下来。
And then find out about chickadees,
接着找到山雀，
and tell us about them in your own voice.
然后用你自己的理解 告诉我们山雀的知识。
And then geese."
再然后是鹅。”
So the two most important things about writing are: bird by bird
所以写作最重要的两点：一只鸟一只鸟的写
and really god-awful first drafts.
和惨不忍睹的初稿。
If you don't know where to start,
如果你不知道从哪开始，
remember that every single thing that happened to you is yours,
记得那些发生在你身上的事， 它们每件都属于你，
and you get to tell it.
你就直接说出来。
If people wanted you to write more warmly about them,
如果人们希望你把他们写得更温和一些，
they should've behaved better.
那他们应该表现得更好。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
(Applause)
（掌声）
You're going to feel like hell if you wake up someday
也许某天你清醒了会觉得糟糕透了，
and you never wrote the stuff
因为你发现你从来没写过那些
that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart:
一直牵扯着你的内心的东西，
your stories, memories, visions and songs --
比如你的故事，回忆，幻想，与歌曲--
your truth,
你的真实，
your version of things --
你对事物的看法－－
in your own voice.
用你自己的声音，
That's really all you have to offer us,
那些都是你必须要带给我们的东西，
and that's also why you were born.
也是你生命的意义。
Seven: publication and temporary creative successes
第七：你必须要从出版发行 和短暂创造出的成就中
are something you have to recover from.
恢复过来。
They kill as many people as not.
这些名利杀死了迷失其中的人。
They will hurt, damage and change you
它们会以你无法想象的方式
in ways you cannot imagine.
伤害你、改变你。
The most degraded and evil people I've ever known
我所认识的最堕落和邪恶的人
are male writers who've had huge best sellers.
是一些出版过超级畅销书的男作家。
And yet, returning to number one, that all truth is paradox,
这又说回第一点： 所有事都是有对立面的。
it's also a miracle to get your work published,
把你的作品出版当然也是一个奇迹，
to get your stories read and heard.
可以让你的故事被世人阅读和听闻。
Just try to bust yourself gently of the fantasy
但要努力让自己从出版发行的幻想中抽身，
that publication will heal you,
你以为出版发行可以治愈你，
that it will fill the Swiss-cheesy holes inside of you.
可以填满你内心一个个 如同瑞士干酪的洞。
It can't.
它不能。
It won't.
它也不会。
But writing can.
但是写作本身可以。
So can singing in a choir or a bluegrass band.
在合唱团或蓝草乐队（乡村音乐） 唱歌也可以。
So can painting community murals or birding
在社区作壁画或观鸟也可以。
or fostering old dogs that no one else will.
或者养一条其他人都不想养的老狗 也可以治愈你。
Number eight: families.
第八：家庭。
Families are hard, hard, hard,
无论家人有多么珍贵和精彩，
no matter how cherished and astonishing they may also be.
家庭生活都是难、难、难。
Again, see number one.
参见第一条。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
At family gatherings where you suddenly feel homicidal or suicidal --
如果在家庭聚会上，你突然很想杀人或自杀--
(Laughter)
（笑声）
remember that in all cases,
记住，在所有情况下，
it's a miracle that any of us, specifically, were conceived and born.
我们每一个人的孕育和诞生都是一个奇迹。
Earth is forgiveness school.
地球是一个教会我们宽恕的学校。
It begins with forgiving yourself,
从原谅自己开始，
and then you might as well start at the dinner table.
你最好从坐在餐桌前开始。
That way, you can do this work in comfortable pants.
这样，你还能穿着舒服的裤子来做这件事。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
When William Blake said that we are here
当William Blake说，
to learn to endure the beams of love,
我们在这世上是要学会承受爱的光芒，
he knew that your family would be an intimate part of this,
他想说，你的家人会成为密不可分的一部分，
even as you want to run screaming for your cute little life.
即使你要为了你可爱的人生尖叫奔跑，
But I promise you are up to it.
但我保证，你能行。
You can do it, Cinderella, you can do it,
你能做到，灰姑娘，你能做到，
and you will be amazed.
然后你会感到大为惊奇。
Nine: food.
第九：食物。
Try to do a little better.
试着做得更好一些。
I think you know what I mean.
我想你明白我的意思。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
Number 10 --
第十——
(Laughter)
（笑声）
grace.
恩泽。
Grace is spiritual WD-40,
恩泽是精神上的WD-40 （一种除锈润剂）
or water wings.
或者是游泳圈。
The mystery of grace is that God loves Henry Kissinger and Vladimir Putin
恩泽的神秘之处在于， 上帝爱Henry Kissinger和Vladimir Putin，
and me
也爱我，
exactly as much as He or She loves your new grandchild.
就像他或她也爱你们刚出生的小孙子。
Go figure.
想想看吧！
(Laughter)
（笑声）
The movement of grace is what changes us, heals us
是恩泽改变了我们，治愈了我们，
and heals our world.
它也治愈了我们的世界。
To summon grace, say, "Help," and then buckle up.
想要受到恩泽，就说“救命“， 然后系好安全带。
Grace finds you exactly where you are,
恩泽会在你需要的时候出现，
but it doesn't leave you where it found you.
但它不会将你遗弃那里。
And grace won't look like Casper the Friendly Ghost,
遗憾的是，
regrettably.
恩泽不会像鬼马小精灵一样。
But the phone will ring or the mail will come
但是电话会响的，邮件会来的，
and then against all odds,
尽管困难重重，
you'll get your sense of humor about yourself back.
你会得到属于你自己的幽默感。
Laughter really is carbonated holiness.
笑声真的是含着二氧化碳的圣洁。
It helps us breathe again and again
它帮助我们一次又一次地呼吸
and gives us back to ourselves,
让我们回归最真的自我，
and this gives us faith in life and each other.
这也带给我们对生活和彼此的信心。
And remember -- grace always bats last.
记住，恩泽总是与我们相伴。
Eleven: God just means goodness.
十一：上帝就是善良。
It's really not all that scary.
他真的不那么可怕。
It means the divine or a loving, animating intelligence,
它意味着神圣或是慈爱的，朝气蓬勃的智慧，
or, as we learned from the great "Deteriorata,"
就像我们从伟大的Deteriorata中知道的， 宇宙中的松饼
"the cosmic muffin."
（此处指一首被恶搞的诗词， 里面说到上帝是宇宙中的松饼）。
A good name for God is: "Not me."
上帝的美名是：“不是我。”
Emerson said that the happiest person on Earth
Emerson曾说 地球上最幸福的人
is the one who learns from nature the lessons of worship.
是那个从自然中学会了尊敬的人。
So go outside a lot and look up.
所以到外面去走走，抬头看看。
My pastor said you can trap bees on the bottom of mason jars without lids
我的牧师说你可以将蜜蜂困在 无盖玻璃瓶的底部，
because they don't look up,
因为它们不会抬头看，
so they just walk around bitterly bumping into the glass walls.
所以它们只会四处碰壁。
Go outside. Look up.
走出去，抬头看看，
Secret of life.
这是生活的秘密。
And finally: death.
最后，死亡。
Number 12.
第十二。
Wow and yikes.
哇，天哪。
It's so hard to bear when the few people you cannot live without die.
有时候至亲的人死去真的难以承受，
You'll never get over these losses, and no matter what the culture says,
你永远无法从悲痛中平复， 无论老话怎么说，
you're not supposed to.
你不应该如此。
We Christians like to think of death as a major change of address,
我们基督徒喜欢把死亡 想象成只是更换了住址，
but in any case, the person will live again fully in your heart
但无论如何，如果你不把心门封锁，
if you don't seal it off.
这个人就还将活在你的心中。
Like Leonard Cohen said, "There are cracks in everything,
就像Leonard Cohen说的， “万物皆有裂痕，
and that's how the light gets in."
那将是光照进来的地方。“
And that's how we feel our people again fully alive.
那也将会是我们感到重获新生的地方。
Also, the people will make you laugh out loud
而且，有些人会让你在不适宜的时候，
at the most inconvenient times,
开怀大笑，
and that's the great good news.
那是个超赞的好消息。
But their absence will also be a lifelong nightmare of homesickness for you.
但他们的缺席也将是你一生的思乡之梦。
Grief and friends, time and tears will heal you to some extent.
悲伤和朋友，时间和眼泪， 会在一定程度上治愈你。
Tears will bathe and baptize and hydrate and moisturize you
眼泪将沐浴、洗礼、和滋润你
and the ground on which you walk.
以及你一路走来的土地。
Do you know the first thing that God says to Moses?
你知道上帝对摩西说的第一件事吗？
He says, "Take off your shoes."
他说：“脱下你的鞋子。”
Because this is holy ground, all evidence to the contrary.
因为你所站之地是圣地， 事实都是相反的。
It's hard to believe, but it's the truest thing I know.
很难相信，但这是我所知道的 最真实的事情。
When you're a little bit older, like my tiny personal self,
当你再年长一点，像我这般，
you realize that death is as sacred as birth.
你会意识到死亡和出生一样神圣。
And don't worry -- get on with your life.
也别担心，继续你的生活。
Almost every single death is easy and gentle
只要你需要
with the very best people surrounding you
与周围的亲人一起面对死亡，
for as long as you need.
那么死亡将会是简单而温柔的。
You won't be alone.
你不会孤单的。
They'll help you cross over to whatever awaits us.
不论等待我们的是什么他们都会帮你一同度过。
As Ram Dass said,
正如Ram Dass所说，
"When all is said and done,
“说到底，
we're really just all walking each other home."
我们只是互相把对方送回家。”
I think that's it,
我想说的就是这些，
but if I think of anything else,
但如果我想到别的东西，
I'll let you know.
我会告诉你们的，
Thank you.
谢谢你们。
(Applause)
（掌声）
Thank you.
谢谢你们。
(Applause)
（掌声）
I was very surprised to be asked to come,
能被邀请到这里我很惊喜，
because it is not my realm,
因为这儿不是我的领域，
technology or design or entertainment.
技术、设计或娱乐（TED的核心主题）。
I mean, my realm is sort of faith and writing
我的意思是，我更擅长谈论信仰和写作，
and kind of lurching along together.
以及相互协作之类的话题。
And I was surprised,
所以我很惊讶，
but they said I could give a talk, and I said I'd love to.
但是当他们告诉我可以做个演讲， 我说我很愿意。
(Video) If you don't know where to start,
（视频声）如果你不知道从哪里开始，
remember that every single thing that happened to you is yours
记住发生在你身上的每件事都是你的，
and you get to tell it.
你得把它说出来。
Anne Lamott: People are very frightened and feel really doomed
（演讲者）当今的美国人们都很害怕，
in America these days,
觉得自己真的完蛋了，
and I just wanted to help people get their sense of humor about it
我只是想帮助人们获得幽默感，
and to realize how much isn't a problem.
明白这不是一个多大的问题。
If you take an action,
如果你采取行动，
take a really healthy or loving or friendly action,
采取一个真正明智、友好善意的行动
you'll have loving and friendly feelings.
你就会感觉到友爱和友好。