声明: 本站全部内容源自互联网,不进行任何盈利行为

仅做 整合 / 美化 处理

首页: https://dream-plan.cn

【TED】怎样经营你的人脉

 

I started teaching MBA students [AI] 我开始教MBA学生 17 years ago. [AI] 17年前。 Sometimes I run into my students years later. [AI] 有时几年后我会遇到我的学生。 And when I run into them. a funny thing happens. [AI] 当我遇到他们的时候。一件有趣的事发生了。 I don't remember just their faces; [AI] 我不记得他们的脸; I also remember where exactly in the classroom they were sitting. [AI] 我还记得他们坐在教室的确切位置。 And I remember who they were sitting with as well. [AI] 我还记得他们和谁坐在一起。 This is not because I have any special superpowers of memory. [AI] 这并不是因为我有特别的记忆能力。 The reason I can remember them [AI] 我能记住它们的原因 is because they are creatures of habit. [AI] 因为它们是习惯性的生物。 They are sitting with their favorite people in their favorite seats. [AI] 他们和他们最喜欢的人坐在他们最喜欢的座位上。 They find their twins. they stay with them for the whole year. [AI] 他们找到了双胞胎。他们和他们呆了一整年。 Now. the danger of this for my students is they're at risk [AI] 现在对我的学生来说,这样做的危险在于他们处于危险之中 of leaving the university with just a few people [AI] 和几个人一起离开大学 who are exactly like them. [AI] 和他们一模一样。 They're going to squander their chance for an international. diverse network. [AI] 他们要浪费国际比赛的机会。多样化的网络。 How could this happen to them? [AI] 这怎么会发生在他们身上? My students are open-minded. [AI] 我的学生思想开放。 They come to business school precisely so that they can get great networks. [AI] 他们来到商学院正是为了获得良好的人际网络。 Now. all of us socially narrow in our lives. in our school. in work. [AI] 现在我们所有人在生活中都是狭隘的。在我们学校。在工作中。 and so I want you to think about this one. [AI] 所以我想让你想想这个。 How many of you here brought a friend along for this talk? [AI] 你们当中有多少人带着一个朋友来参加这次演讲? I want you to look at your friend a little bit. [AI] 我想让你看看你的朋友。 Are they of the same nationality as you? [AI] 他们和你是同一国籍吗? Are they of the same gender as you? [AI] 他们和你是同一性别吗? Are they of the same race? [AI] 他们是同一种族的吗? Really look at them closely. [AI] 仔细看看他们。 Don't they kind of look like you as well? [AI] 他们看起来不像你吗? (Laughter) [AI] (众笑) The muscle people are together. [AI] 有肌肉的人在一起。 and the people with the same hairstyles [AI] 还有那些发型相同的人 and the checked shirts. [AI] 还有格子衬衫。 We all do this in life. [AI] 我们在生活中都这样做。 We all do it in life. and in fact. there's nothing wrong with this. [AI] 我们在生活中都这样做。事实上。这没什么问题。 It makes us comfortable to be around people who are similar. [AI] 和相似的人在一起让我们感到舒适。 The problem is when we're on a precipice. right? [AI] 问题是当我们在悬崖上时。正当 When we're in trouble. when we need new ideas. [AI] 当我们遇到麻烦的时候。当我们需要新想法的时候。 when we need new jobs. when we need new resources -- [AI] 当我们需要新工作的时候。当我们需要新的资源时-- this is when we really pay a price for living in a clique. [AI] 这是我们真正为生活在一个小圈子里付出代价的时候。 Mark Granovetter. the sociologist. had a famous paper [AI] 马克·格拉诺维特。社会学家。他有一份著名的报纸 "The Strength of Weak Ties." [AI] “弱关系的力量。” and what he did in this paper is he asked people [AI] 他在这篇论文中所做的是,他问人们 how they got their jobs. [AI] 他们是如何找到工作的。 And what he learned was that most people don't get their jobs [AI] 他学到的是大多数人都找不到工作 through their strong ties -- their father. their mother. their significant other. [AI] 通过他们的紧密联系——他们的父亲。他们的母亲。他们重要的另一半。 They instead get jobs through weak ties. people who they just met. [AI] 相反,他们通过弱关系获得工作。他们刚刚认识的人。 So if you think about what the problem is with your strong ties. [AI] 因此,如果你想一想你的牢固关系有什么问题。 think about your significant other. for example. [AI] 想想你的另一半。例如 The network is redundant. [AI] 网络是冗余的。 Everybody that they know. you know. [AI] 他们认识的每个人。你知道的。 Or I hope you know them. Right? [AI] 或者我希望你认识他们。正当 Your weak ties -- people you just met today -- [AI] 你的弱关系——你今天刚认识的人-- they are your ticket to a whole new social world. [AI] 它们是你进入一个全新社会世界的门票。 The thing is that we have this amazing ticket to travel our social worlds. [AI] 问题是我们有一张旅行社交世界的神奇门票。 but we don't use it very well. [AI] 但我们用得不太好。 Sometimes we stay awfully close to home. [AI] 有时我们离家很近。 And today. what I want to talk about is: [AI] 今天。我想说的是: What are those habits that keep human beings so close to home. [AI] 是什么样的习惯让人类如此靠近家。 and how can we be a little bit more intentional [AI] 我们怎么能更用心一点呢 about traveling our social universe? [AI] 关于旅行我们的社会世界? So let's look at the first strategy. [AI] 让我们来看第一个策略。 The first strategy is to use a more imperfect social search engine. [AI] 第一种策略是使用更不完善的社交搜索引擎。 What I mean by a social search engine [AI] 我所说的社交搜索引擎是什么意思 is how you are finding and filtering your friends. [AI] 就是你如何找到和过滤你的朋友。 And so people always tell me. [AI] 所以人们总是告诉我。 "I want to get lucky through the network. [AI] “我想通过网络获得好运。 I want to get a new job. I want to get a great opportunity." [AI] 我想找一份新工作。我想得到一个很好的机会。" And I say. "Well. that's really hard. [AI] 我说。“嗯,那真的很难。 because your networks are so fundamentally predictable." [AI] 因为你的人际网络基本上是可预测的。" Map out your habitual daily footpath. [AI] 画出你习惯性的日常步道。 and what you'll probably discover is that you start at home. [AI] 你可能会发现,你从家开始。 you go to your school or your workplace. [AI] 你去你的学校或工作场所。 you maybe go up the same staircase or elevator. [AI] 你可以上同一个楼梯或电梯。 you go to the bathroom -- the same bathroom -- [AI] 你去洗手间,同一个洗手间-- and the same stall in that bathroom. [AI] 浴室里的同一个隔间。 you end up in the gym. [AI] 你最终会去健身房。 then you come right back home. [AI] 然后你马上回家。 It's like stops on a train schedule. [AI] 就像在火车时刻表上停下来一样。 It's that predictable. [AI] 这是可以预测的。 It's efficient. but the problem is. you're seeing exactly the same people. [AI] 效率很高。但问题是。你看到的是完全相同的人。 Make your network slightly more inefficient. [AI] 让你的网络稍微低效一点。 Go to a bathroom on a different floor. [AI] 去另一层的浴室。 You encounter a whole new network of people. [AI] 你会遇到一个全新的人际网络。 The other side of it is how we are actually filtering. [AI] 另一方面是我们实际上是如何过滤的。 And we do this automatically. [AI] 我们会自动做到这一点。 The minute we meet someone. we are looking at them. we meet them. [AI] 在我们遇见某人的那一刻。我们正在看他们。我们见到了他们。 we are initially seeing. [AI] 我们最初看到的是。 "You're interesting." [AI] “你很有趣。” "You're not interesting." "You're relevant." [AI] “你不感兴趣。”“你很重要。” We do this automatically. We can't even help it. [AI] 我们自动完成这项工作。我们甚至没办法。 And what I want to encourage you to do instead is to fight your filters. [AI] 我想鼓励你们做的是反对你们的过滤器。 I want you to take a look around this room. [AI] 我想让你看看这个房间。 and I want you to identify the least interesting person that you see. [AI] 我想让你找出你看到的最没意思的人。 and I want you to connect with them over the next coffee break. [AI] 我想让你在下一个咖啡休息时间和他们联系。 And I want you to go even further than that. [AI] 我希望你能走得更远。 What I want you to do is find the most irritating person you see as well [AI] 我要你做的就是找到你看到的最令人恼火的人 and connect with them. [AI] 并与他们联系。 What you are doing with this exercise is you are forcing yourself [AI] 你做这个练习的目的是强迫自己 to see what you don't want to see. [AI] 去看你不想看的东西。 to connect with who you don't want to connect with. [AI] 去联系你不想联系的人。 to widen your social world. [AI] 拓展你的社交世界。 To truly widen. what we have to do is. [AI] 真正拓宽。我们要做的是。 we've got to fight our sense of choice. [AI] 我们必须与我们的选择意识作斗争。 We've got to fight our choices. [AI] 我们必须为我们的选择而战。 And my students hate this. but you know what I do? [AI] 我的学生讨厌这样。但是你知道我做什么吗? I won't let them sit in their favorite seats. [AI] 我不会让他们坐在他们最喜欢的座位上。 I move them around from seat to seat. [AI] 我把它们从一个座位移到另一个座位。 I force them to work with different people [AI] 我强迫他们和不同的人一起工作 so there are more accidental bumps in the network [AI] 因此,网络中会出现更多的意外碰撞 where people get a chance to connect with each other. [AI] 人们有机会相互联系。 And we studied exactly this kind of an intervention at Harvard University. [AI] 我们在哈佛大学研究了这种干预措施。 At Harvard. when you look at the rooming groups. [AI] 在哈佛。当你看房间里的人时。 there's freshman rooming groups. people are not choosing those roommates. [AI] 有新生宿舍小组。人们不会选择那些室友。 They're of all different races. all different ethnicities. [AI] 他们来自不同的种族。所有不同的种族。 Maybe people are initially uncomfortable with those roommates. [AI] 也许人们一开始对那些室友感到不舒服。 but the amazing thing is. [AI] 但令人惊奇的是。 at the end of a year with those students. [AI] 在一年结束的时候和那些学生在一起。 they're able to overcome that initial discomfort. [AI] 他们能够克服最初的不适。 They're able to find deep-level commonalities with people. [AI] 他们能够找到人们深层次的共同点。 So the takeaway here is not just "take someone out to coffee." [AI] 所以这里的外卖不仅仅是“带某人出去喝咖啡” It's a little more subtle. [AI] 这有点微妙。 It's "go to the coffee room." [AI] 这是“去咖啡厅。” When researchers talk about social hubs. [AI] 当研究人员谈论社会枢纽时。 what makes a social hub so special is you can't choose; [AI] 让社交中心如此特别的是你无法选择; you can't predict who you're going to meet in that place. [AI] 你无法预测在那个地方你会遇到谁。 And so with these social hubs. the paradox is. interestingly enough. [AI] 这些社交中心也是如此。矛盾是。很有趣。 to get randomness. [AI] 获得随机性。 it requires. actually. some planning. [AI] 这需要时间。事实上一些计划。 In one university that I worked at. [AI] 在我工作的一所大学里。 there was a mail room on every single floor. [AI] 每层楼都有一间收发室。 What that meant is that the only people who would bump into each other [AI] 这意味着唯一会撞到对方的人 are those who are actually on that floor [AI] 是那些真正在那一层的人吗 and who are bumping into each other anyway. [AI] 不管怎样,谁都会撞到对方。 At another university I worked at. there was only one mail room. [AI] 我在另一所大学工作。只有一个收发室。 so all the faculty from all over that building [AI] 所以那栋大楼里所有的教员 would run into each other in that social hub. [AI] 会在那个社交中心相遇。 A simple change in planning. [AI] 计划上的一个简单改变。 a huge difference in the traffic of people [AI] 人流量的巨大差异 and the accidental bumps in the network. [AI] 以及网络中的意外碰撞。 Here's my question for you: [AI] 我想问你一个问题: What are you doing that breaks you from your social habits? [AI] 你在做什么来打破你的社交习惯? Where do you find yourself [AI] 你发现自己在哪里 in places where you get injections of unpredictable diversity? [AI] 在你得到不可预测的多样性注入的地方? And my students give me some wonderful examples. [AI] 我的学生给了我一些很好的例子。 They tell me when they're doing pickup basketball games. [AI] 他们告诉我他们什么时候打篮球。 or my favorite example is when they go to a dog park. [AI] 或者我最喜欢的例子是他们去狗公园。 They tell me it's even better than online dating when they're there. [AI] 他们告诉我,当他们在那里的时候,这甚至比网上约会更好。 So the real thing that I want you to think about [AI] 所以我想让你想想真正的事情 is we've got to fight our filters. [AI] 我们必须与我们的过滤器抗争。 We've got to make ourselves a little more inefficient. [AI] 我们必须让自己效率更高一点。 and by doing so. we are creating a more imprecise social search engine. [AI] 通过这样做。我们正在创建一个更不精确的社交搜索引擎。 And you're creating that randomness. [AI] 你创造了这种随机性。 that luck that is going to cause you to widen your travels. [AI] 这种运气会让你拓宽你的旅行范围。 through your social universe. [AI] 通过你的社交世界。 But in fact. there's more to it than that. [AI] 但事实上。不止这些。 Sometimes we actually buy ourselves a second-class ticket [AI] 有时我们实际上给自己买了一张二等票 to travel our social universe. [AI] 旅行我们的社会世界。 We are not courageous when we reach out to people. [AI] 当我们与人接触时,我们并不勇敢。 Let me give you an example of that. [AI] 让我给你举个例子。 A few years ago. I had a very eventful year. [AI] 几年前。我度过了非常多事的一年。 That year. I managed to lose a job. [AI] 那一年。我设法失去了一份工作。 I managed to get a dream job overseas and accept it. [AI] 我设法在海外找到了一份理想的工作并接受了。 I had a baby the next month. [AI] 下个月我生了个孩子。 I got very sick. [AI] 我病得很厉害。 I was unable to take the dream job. [AI] 我无法接受理想的工作。 And so in a few weeks. what ended up happening was. [AI] 几周后。最后发生的是。 I lost my identity as a faculty member. [AI] 我失去了教员的身份。 and I got a very stressful new identity as a mother. [AI] 作为一个母亲,我有了一个非常紧张的新身份。 What I also got was tons of advice from people. [AI] 我还从人们那里得到了很多建议。 And the advice I despised more than any other advice was. [AI] 我最鄙视的建议是。 "You've got to go network with everybody." [AI] “你必须与每个人建立关系网。” When your psychological world is breaking down. [AI] 当你的心理世界崩溃时。 the hardest thing to do is to try and reach out [AI] 最难做的事情是尝试和接触 and build up your social world. [AI] 建立你的社交世界。 And so we studied exactly this idea on a much larger scale. [AI] 所以我们在更大的范围内研究了这个想法。 What we did was we looked at high and low socioeconomic status people. [AI] 我们所做的是观察社会经济地位高低的人。 and we looked at them in two situations. [AI] 我们在两种情况下研究了它们。 We looked at them first in a baseline condition. [AI] 我们首先在基线条件下观察它们。 when they were quite comfortable. [AI] 当他们很舒服的时候。 And what we found was that our lower socioeconomic status people. [AI] 我们发现我们的社会经济地位较低的人。 when they were comfortable. were actually reaching out to more people. [AI] 当他们感到舒服的时候。我们实际上接触了更多的人。 They thought of more people. [AI] 他们想到了更多的人。 They were also less constrained in how they were networking. [AI] 他们在社交方面也不那么拘束。 They were thinking of more diverse people [AI] 他们想到的是更多样化的人 than the higher-status people. [AI] 比地位更高的人。 Then we asked them to think about maybe losing a job. [AI] 然后我们让他们考虑可能会失去一份工作。 We threatened them. [AI] 我们威胁他们。 And once they thought about that. [AI] 一旦他们想到这一点。 the networks they generated completely differed. [AI] 他们建立的网络完全不同。 The lower socioeconomic status people reached inwards. [AI] 社会经济地位较低的人进入了内部。 They thought of fewer people. [AI] 他们想到的人少了。 They thought of less-diverse people. [AI] 他们想到的是不那么多样化的人。 The higher socioeconomic status people thought of more people. [AI] 社会经济地位越高,人们想到的人越多。 they thought of a broader network. [AI] 他们想到了一个更广泛的网络。 they were positioning themselves to bounce back from that setback. [AI] 他们正准备从那次挫折中恢复过来。 Let's consider what this actually means. [AI] 让我们考虑一下这实际上意味着什么。 Imagine that you were being spontaneously unfriended [AI] 想象一下,你是自发地失去了朋友 by everyone in your network [AI] 网络中的每个人 other than your mom. your dad and your dog. [AI] 除了你妈妈。你爸爸和你的狗。 (Laughter) [AI] (众笑) This is essentially what we are doing [AI] 这基本上就是我们正在做的事情 at these moments when we need our networks the most. [AI] 在我们最需要网络的时刻。 Imagine -- this is what we're doing. We're doing it to ourselves. [AI] 想象一下,这就是我们正在做的。我们这样做是为了我们自己。 We are mentally compressing our networks [AI] 我们在精神上压缩我们的网络 when we are being harassed. when we are being bullied. [AI] 当我们被骚扰的时候。当我们被欺负的时候。 when we are threatened about losing a job. [AI] 当我们受到失业的威胁时。 when we feel down and weak. [AI] 当我们感到沮丧和虚弱时。 We are closing ourselves off. isolating ourselves. [AI] 我们正在封闭自己。孤立我们自己。 creating a blind spot where we actually don't see our resources. [AI] 制造一个我们实际上看不到我们资源的盲点。 We don't see our allies. we don't see our opportunities. [AI] 我们看不到我们的盟友。我们看不到我们的机会。 How can we overcome this? [AI] 我们如何克服这一点? Two simple strategies. [AI] 两个简单的策略。 One strategy is simply to look at your list of Facebook friends [AI] 一个策略就是查看你的Facebook好友列表 and LinkedIn friends [AI] 还有LinkedIn的朋友们 just so you remind yourself of people who are there [AI] 只是为了让你想起在场的人 beyond those that automatically come to mind. [AI] 超越那些自动浮现在脑海中的。 And in our own research. one of the things we did was. [AI] 在我们自己的研究中。我们所做的事情之一就是。 we considered Claude Steele's research on self-affirmation: [AI] 我们考虑了克劳德·斯蒂尔关于自我肯定的研究: simply thinking about your own values. [AI] 仅仅考虑你自己的价值观。 networking from a place of strength. [AI] 从一个有力量的地方建立网络。 What Leigh Thompson. Hoon-Seok Choi and I were able to do is. [AI] 什么是利·汤普森。Hoon Seok Choi和我能做的就是。 we found that people who had affirmed themselves first [AI] 我们发现那些首先肯定自己的人 were able to take advice from people [AI] 我们能够听取人们的意见 who would otherwise be threatening to them. [AI] 否则谁会威胁他们。 Here's a last exercise. [AI] 这是最后一个练习。 I want you to look in your email in-box. [AI] 我想让你看看你的邮箱。 and I want you to look at the last time you asked somebody for a favor. [AI] 我想让你看看上次你请别人帮忙的时候。 And I want you to look at the language that you used. [AI] 我想让你看看你使用的语言。 Did you say things like. [AI] 你有没有说过这样的话。 "Oh. you're a great resource." [AI] “哦,你是一个很好的资源。” or "I owe you one." [AI] 或者“我欠你一个人情” "I'm obligated to you." [AI] “我对你负有责任。” All of this language represents a metaphor. [AI] 所有这些语言都代表了一种隐喻。 It's a metaphor of economics. [AI] 这是经济学的隐喻。 of a balance sheet. of accounting. [AI] 资产负债表的一部分。会计系。 of transactions. [AI] 交易数量。 And when we think about human relations in a transactional way. [AI] 当我们以交易的方式思考人际关系时。 it is fundamentally uncomfortable to us as human beings. [AI] 这对我们人类来说是根本不舒服的。 We must think about human relations and reaching out to people [AI] 我们必须考虑人际关系和与人接触 in more humane ways. [AI] 以更人道的方式。 Here's an idea as to how to do so. [AI] 这里有一个如何做到这一点的想法。 Look at words like "please." "thank you." "you're welcome" in other languages. [AI] 看看像“请”这样的词“谢谢你。”用其他语言说“不客气”。 Look at the literal translation of these words. [AI] 看看这些词的直译。 Each of these words is a word that helps us impose upon other people [AI] 这些词中的每一个都有助于我们强加于他人 in our social networks. [AI] 在我们的社交网络中。 And so. the word "thank you." [AI] 等等。“谢谢”这个词 if you look at it in Spanish. Italian. French. [AI] 如果你用西班牙语看的话。意大利人法语 "gracias." "grazie." "merci" in French. [AI] “格雷西亚斯。”“格拉齐。”法语中的“谢谢”。 Each of them are "grace" and "mercy." [AI] 它们分别是“恩典”和“仁慈” They are godly words. [AI] 它们是神圣的话语。 There's nothing economic or transactional about those words. [AI] 这些话没有任何经济或交易的意义。 The word "you're welcome" is interesting. [AI] “不客气”这个词很有趣。 The great persuasion theorist Robert Cialdini says [AI] 伟大的说服理论家罗伯特·夏尔迪尼说 we've got to get our favors back. [AI] 我们得找回我们的恩惠。 So we need to emphasize the transaction a little bit more. [AI] 因此,我们需要更加强调交易。 He says. "Let's not say 'You're welcome.' [AI] 他说。“我们不要说‘不客气’ Instead say. 'I know you'd do the same for me.'" [AI] 而是说我知道你也会为我这样做的。”" But sometimes it may be helpful to not think in transactional ways. [AI] 但有时不以事务性的方式思考可能会有所帮助。 to eliminate the transaction. to make it a little bit more invisible. [AI] 消除交易。让它更隐蔽一点。 And in fact. if you look in Chinese. [AI] 事实上。如果你用中文看。 the word "bú kè qì" in Chinese. "You're welcome." means. [AI] 汉语中的“búkèqì”一词。“不客气。”方法 "Don't be formal; we're family. We don't need to go through those formalities." [AI] “别拘谨,我们是一家人。我们不需要办理那些手续。” And "kembali" in Indonesian is "Come back to me." [AI] 印尼语中的“kembali”是“回到我身边” When you say "You're welcome" next time. [AI] 下次你说“不客气”的时候。 think about how you can maybe eliminate the transaction [AI] 想一想你可以如何消除交易 and instead strengthen that social tie. [AI] 而是加强这种社会联系。 Maybe "It's great to collaborate." or "That's what friends are for." [AI] 也许“合作太好了。”或者“朋友就是为了这个。” I want you to think about how you think about this ticket that you have [AI] 我想让你想想你对这张票的看法 to travel your social universe. [AI] 旅行你的社交世界。 Here's one metaphor. [AI] 这里有一个比喻。 It's a common metaphor: "Life is a journey." Right? [AI] 这是一个常见的比喻:“生活是一次旅行。”正当 It's a train ride. [AI] 这是坐火车。 and you're a passenger on the train. [AI] 你是火车上的乘客。 and there are certain people with you. [AI] 还有一些人和你在一起。 Certain people get on this train. [AI] 有些人上了这列火车。 and some stay with you. some leave at different stops. [AI] 还有一些和你在一起。有些人在不同的车站离开。 new ones may enter. [AI] 新的可能进入。 I love this metaphor. it's a beautiful one. [AI] 我喜欢这个比喻。这是一个漂亮的。 But I want you to consider a different metaphor. [AI] 但我想让你考虑一个不同的比喻。 This one is passive. being a passenger on that train. [AI] 这个是被动的。作为那列火车上的乘客。 and it's quite linear. [AI] 它是线性的。 You're off to some particular destination. [AI] 你要去某个特定的目的地。 Why not instead think of yourself [AI] 为什么不想想你自己呢 as an atom. [AI] 作为一个原子。 bumping up against other atoms. [AI] 与其他原子碰撞。 maybe transferring energy with them. [AI] 也许和他们一起转移能量。 bonding with them a little [AI] 和他们建立一点关系 and maybe creating something new [AI] 也许会创造一些新的东西 on your travels through the social universe. [AI] 在你穿越社会世界的旅途中。 Thank you so much. [AI] 非常感谢你。 And I hope we bump into each other again. [AI] 我希望我们能再次相遇。 (Applause) [AI] (掌声)

萌ICP备20223985号